My boyfriend has been going through a series of interviews with a Technology Consulting company; having been in the Tech and Consulting industry myself, I’ve been helping him prep for them. And by “help”, I mean asking snarky questions like, “Are you ready to expedite enterprise ROI?”, and “Let’s synergize integrated synergies!”. (I’m available for interview coaching, please call to inquire.)

It occurred to me that Consulting and Yoga share something in common: a set of vocabulary that has more meaning individually than when they’re stuck together in a sentence. Take, for instance,

• Consulting-Speak: “Our holistic approach enables vertical connectivity between the field operations team and the quality assurance technicians to optimize consumer impact points.” – from Guerrilla Marketing
• Yoga-Speak: “As my eyes are opened to the Truth that is around me, I accept with equanimity the absence of Justice but keep my focus on breath so that the source of Love will nourish me.” – from HuffPo

I grumbled a little bit about the “Yoga Teacher Speak” a while back, and today, there was a lively discussion (somewhere in the YogaDawg’s Facebook Universe) about yoga as a spiritual practice, and when yoga teachers say all this “spiritual stuff”. I thought, hey, if consultants can have their Jargon Generator, why can’t we? And if anyone can create it, why not me? (I know, I really worked on that rhyme.)

So, without further repurposing, here’s v.1 of the Yoga Jargon Generator. Just choose any word from the first column, then add any word from the following columns, and you’re on your way. Enjoy responsibly!

By the way, speaking in jargons is optional for both Consultants and Yoga Teachers. The Speak Clearly option (also known as the “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth” option) is always available to everyone.