Assisting Judith Hanson Lasater at SF YJ Conference 2012

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th, a lucky day for me. After work, I’ll be on a bus and a plane heading to San Francisco, where I’ll assist Judith Hanson Lasater at the San Francisco Yoga Journal Conference.

Here are the sessions I’m assisting. If you’re at the conference and we pass by each other, please say hi. Or better yet, come take a class with Judith, you won’t regret it.

The Mysterious Sacroiliac Joint: Anatomy and Asana

Saturday, January 14 — 10:30am – 12:30pm
Therapeutic / Continue Your Education / Mixed Levels

Many yoga students suffer from sacroiliac pain, which interferes with forward bends and twists. We’ll study the anatomy and kinesiology of the joint, and then practice in a way that can prevent problems. **This class has been approved by American Council on Exercise (ACE) for 0.2 CECs.**

Restorative Yoga

Saturday, January 14 — 3:30pm – 5:30pm
Therapeutic / Mixed Levels

Explore the theory and the practice of restorative yoga.
Props are essential to this practice. Bring at least three blankets, an eye cover, a strap, and, if possible, a bolster. The more props, the more relaxation.

The Shoulder: How to Open, Strengthen, and Repair

Sunday, January 15 — 10:30am – 12:30pm
Therapeutic / Mixed Levels

We’ll learn the basic principles of the rotator cuff through a presentation of the anatomy and kinesiology of the shoulder. We’ll then focus on poses that open and strengthen the shoulder joint. **This class has been approved by American Council on Exercise (ACE) for 0.2 CECs.**

Breed and Feed, or, How to Detox and Do Other Things Good Too with Savasana

I once described Savasana to my boyfriend–who doesn’t do yoga–as, “taking a sanctioned nap in public”, to which he asked quizzically, “You pay people to do something you can do at home?” I laughed, “I guess you can look at it like that.”

In fact, if I didn’t know better, I would look at it exactly like that. And when I didn’t know better, I saw very little value in Savasana, if at all. It didn’t help that in certain yoga tradition, the teacher simply ended class with, “Thanks for coming, now lie in your sweat and your neighbor’s B.O. I’m leaving the room for some fresh air.”

Ok, I’m being a brat, I know, my point is, in my experience, there’s usually very little instruction in how to do Savasana in most public yoga classes. If I don’t know what to do, I’m either going to pass out and fall asleep, or I’m just going to get up and leave.

If the value of Savasana isn’t widely taught and understood, fewer and fewer people will learn it, do it, care about it, and ultimately benefit from it, and that is a crying shame.

This leads to scenarios where students can complain to studio directors if a teacher keeps the class in Savasana for “too long”, and in turn the well-intentioned director, who want happy customers, will ask teachers to not do Savasana, or minimize it.

This leads to scenarios where, when Savasana time comes, for those who’ve come to know, love, and appreciate the nap (like yours truly), but don’t know the benefits beyond getting some much needed sleep, and therefore don’t do the appropriate practice in Savasana.

This leads to scenarios where, teachers go on yoga forum asking things like: “Why is savasana a key aspect to yoga classes? How do you explain it to your students who may feel they don’t need to pay someone to “just lie on the floor” for 5, 10 or more minutes?”

In this post and a few that follow, I hope to make a case for the yoga pose Savasana: what it is, how to do it, and why we care about it at all.

There are multitudes of interesting things about Savasana, but perhaps the most relevant topic to write today is something closest to home for most of us who just celebrated the Holidays Season in North America, starting with Halloween, then Thanksgiving, all the way to New Years.

That topic is digestion and elimination, or, the more trendy and PC word is: detox.

How Savasana helps with detoxing

I don’t want to rehash the list of benefits of Savasana that you can read everywhere. I want to talk about what happens in Savasana and how it helps you digest, or detox.

You may remember the autonomic nervous system from school, divided into sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. You may also know the sympathetic system is associated with the “fight or flight” response, nice and catchy and easy to remember.

Think quick! What’s the equivalent catchy response for the parasympathetic system? Wikipedia will tell you that it’s “rest and digest”. But, I’m here to tell you another one that’s much easier to remember: “feed and breed”. It’s much more colloquial and down and dirty, not something they always tell you in school, but our memory works best with down and dirty things, like learning swear words in foreign languages.

What’s involved in feed and breed? Put it another way, what’s *not* involved in feed and breed? Sometimes it seems like almost a full time job for some people in our culture to keep us preoccupied with those exact two things. Feeding and breeding are big business.

Now think about what prevents you from good feeding and breeding? Bad food, for sure. Bad sex, certainly. What goes in must come out, and if you can’t digest, pee, or poop, it is not a good day in any measure.

Think about the last time you were in the mood for love, were you in a fight or flight response? Were you stressed? Depressed? Anxious? Or were you more relaxed? That’s the parasympathetic nervous system in action.

Let’s have Wikipedia come to the rescue and articulate things more eloquently:

To be specific, the parasympathetic system is responsible for stimulation of “rest-and-digest” activities that occur when the body is at rest, including sexual arousal, salivation, lacrimation (tears), urination, digestion, and defecation.

And the good people of Wikipedia (when they’re not showing creepy mug shots) have provided a useful acronym for the functions of the parasympathetic nervous system too, SLUDD: salivation, lacrimation, urination, digestion, and defecation.

Our days are filled with stimulating activities that call for a well functioning and active Sympathetic Nervous System: driving, work meetings, answering emails, giving speeches, working out, etc.

Yoga asanas demand quite a bit of us as well, thinking about what to do, where to move, protecting or preventing injuries, worrying about doing the right thing, looking good, etc.

The Parasympathetic Nervous System is the counterpart of the SNS. It’s the Yin to the SNS’s Yang. It’s the eggs to the SNS’s bacon (for you bacon fans out there). It’s the coke to the SNS’s rum. Ok, I may be taking this too far, but you see where I’m going. These two systems go together.

The problem is we as a culture has gone so far off the Sympathetic Nervous System’s deep end, that we don’t even know how to relax. We think relax is sitting on the couch watching Dancing with the Stars with our favorite drink. We think relax is watching Tom Cruise scale up sky scrapers with a bare hand.

Don’t get me wrong, these are awesome. I have nothing against holding down the couch or Occupying IMAX. Those activities, however, are fun, but not necessarily relaxing as far as our body’s physiology is concerned.

Now, think about what happens to your nervous system in Savasana. Let’s set the mood: the lights are down so it’s nice and dark, you’re well covered and warm, your eyes are closed, the floor is dry, clean, and flat. You’re not eating, drinking, driving, walking, running, dancing, moving, talking. You’re lying flat down on the floor with all the props you need to support your body position and weight.

It’s the perfect trigger to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, aka, say it with me, the “feed and breed” response. This is where the PNS “mediates digestion of food and indirectly, the absorption of nutrients.” (Wikipedia entry on Autonomic Nervous System.)

“Great, I’m sold on that,” you say, “but why do I have to pay someone to do this?”

You don’t. Plain and simple as that. Just like how you don’t have to pay someone to watch you do pushups, pullups, or situps; how you don’t have to pay to have someone to time you to run around the block or up the hill.

Or, maybe we do have to pay someone to count our pushups and time our Savasana. We need someone to give us instruction, techniques, refinement, encouragement, and the big A, accountability.

If we don’t learn how to, and do, Savasana in class, if we don’t make it a daily habit under someone else’s watch, what are the chances we will do it on our own? If we don’t learn how to relax in a controlled setting, much like having training wheels on, how will we relax when we’re in “real life” and shit is hitting the fan? (Or… not coming out well?)

And… on that note, I’ll finish writing for now. But I am not done with all the amazing things that happen in Savasana and the benefit you get from it. So, ask for more savasana, and I hope you’ll come back for more soon.

The Yoga User Experience

In my day job, I’m a User Experience Designer. It’s an umbrella term for all the activities necessary to find out about the users and design products that are most useful for them in their particular activities.

Every day, I see parallels in being a designer and teaching yoga.

Recently, I wrote a post in my other blog called: The Trouble with User Experience Design, where I talk about an experience I had in class one night while talking about svadhyaya. A student asked me if I’m talking about self-inquiry spiritually, and I professed to not being in the position to talk to her about her spiritual growth.

“In the context of this class, self-reflection is about knowing where your feet are and how you’re breathing”, I told her.

Highway to the Danger Zone

Talking about other people’s feelings and experience is danger zone for me. Some yoga teachers will go in what I consider “touchy-feely” territory, and I may have been to the border towns a few times in my teaching career. You know what I mean, it’s things like: ” feel grace pouring in” or “let the sense of calm wash over you”, and “feel so much light and love as if you’re going to explode in thousands of pieces of joyful stardust and become one with the divine spirit of the Universe.”

There’s nothing inherently crazy about these statements. They’re not even as over the top as they may seem here, written down in a blog. Sudden feelings of satori, for example, are entirely possible. What makes me weary of these statements in a yoga class is they may or may not reflect the actual experience of the students. They are imposed and suggested, something that’s well and good in the Marketing and Advertising department, but, as far I’m concerned, not the point of yoga.

Down in the Valley

In the User Experience Design field, the title presumes that we have so much control over other people’s experience that we can design it. It may be so, only to the extent that, in a way, everything is design(ed).

In yoga, I am aware that I am paid to provide some sort of experience as well. When I asked my students what the word “yoga” brings to their mind, the answers include: calm, flexible, destress, strong, and peace. That is a tall order for a yoga teacher to create in 75 minutes. Personally, it’d be presumptuous to think that I can single-handedly meet all these needs.

I remember very vividly one private session when I asked a student what he’s expecting, and why he has come to me. He looked at me straight in the eye and said, “You know, honestly, I want to learn to be a better person.”

I gulped. What do I know about being a good person? What do I know about telling other people to be a better person?

Luckily, in User Experience, I know a bit about techniques and principles of Design. In Yoga, I know a bit about where the hands and feet go in Trikonasana and Downward Dog; I know a bit about the kleśā and the kośa. My value is bringing what I’ve learned and personally experienced to create an space where my students can figure out their own relationship with yoga, and with themselves.

Judith Hanson Lasater once said, “We don’t teach the yoga, it’s the poses that teach the yoga.” I thought this was radical, but after reflecting on it, I realized it’s true. It’s in the poses where I learn to observe my own body and my own breathing, and by extension staying in the moment. That is the holy grail of this spiritual practice.

After two years of teaching, I still have moments where I feel the anxiety and pressure to “make students feel good”. In those times, I have to remind myself that I’m not providing a spa service. As the California Yoga Teachers Association Code of Professional Ethics states:

We believe that it is the responsibility of the yoga teacher to ensure a safe and protected environment in which a student can grow physically, mentally, and spiritually.

This is what I am fully committed to. Beyond that, the emotional and individual experience of yoga is not mine to dictate.

Nikki Yoga News: Assisting Judith Hanson Lasater at YJ Conference San Francisco 2011

Hi guys,

I have the privilege of assisting Judith Hanson Lasater at the Yoga Journal Conference in San Francisco this year. If you’re going to the conference, say hi. If you’ve never taken a class with Judith before, you gotta check her out!

Here are the courses Judith’s teaching, taken from the Conference Website:

The Shoulder: How to Open, Strengthen, and Repair

Saturday, January 15 — 3:30pm – 5:30pm
Therapeutic, Mixed Levels. Lecture and asana.

To understand this part of the body, we must learn about the four small actions that shape all of its movements in asana. We’ll begin with theory and end with an asana practice focusing on the shoulder. **This class has been approved by American Council on Exercise (ACE) for 0.2 CECs.**

What to bring: A mat, three blankets, an eye cover, a strap, a block, and if possible, a bolster.

The Mysterious Sacroiliac Joint

Sunday, January 16 — 10:30am – 12:30pm
Therapeutic, Mixed Levels. Discussion and asana practice.

Many yoga students suffer from sacroiliac pain, which interferes with forward bends and twists. We’ll study the anatomy and kinesiology of the joint, and then practice in a way that can prevent problems. **This class has been approved by American Council on Exercise (ACE) for 0.2 CECs.**

Restorative Yoga

Sunday, January 16 — 3:30pm – 5:30pm
Mixed Levels. Restorative yoga practice.

Explore the theory and the practice of restorative yoga. **This class has been approved by American Council on Exercise (ACE) for 0.2 CECs.**
What to bring: At least three blankets, an eye cover, a strap, and if possible, a bolster. The more props, the more relaxation.

Here's me during the Restorative Yoga Teacher training with Judith

Here's me during the Restorative Yoga Teacher training with Judith

Sexy Yoga and Meditation

Okay, I admit it, the word “sexy” didn’t need to be in the title of this post. I literally spent at least five minutes trying to figure out how to work the words “sexy” or “hot” in with the words “meditation”, to no avail.

I suppose that’s why meditation, or Patanjali’s Dhyāna, gets nowhere near the attention that Asana gets. It just doesn’t go with hot or sexy. I mean, when was the last time you saw a magazine headline with tips to “Last Longer Tonight”, and they’re talking about sitting on your cushion, closing your eyes, and concentrating on your breath? Yup, I thought so.

What’s funny is *both* Dhyāna and Asana are branches of the 8 Limbs of Yoga. What’s funny is we now have to say Yoga *and* Meditation. Oh well, that’s the all verbiage, I guess. And really, it’s better to just do it. Talking about swimming does not get you wet. (Like sexy… or… unlike sexy… or… oh, never mind.)

If I haven’t lost you yet, this post is intended for two things: 1) As a response to yet another exciting development in the world of Yoga and Polititics, and 2) To point out a couple of meditation trainings and resources if that strike your fancy.

Can Yoga be, uh… Sexy? What is Yogic, Really?

If you’re keeping track with the exciting world of Yoga and Business, Business and Yoga, recently, Judith Hanson Lasater wrote a letter to Yoga Journal expressing her confusion and sadness with the gratuitous nudity in the magazine’s ads. She said: “These pictures do not teach the viewer about yoga practice or themselves. They aren’t even about the celebration of the beauty of the human body or the beauty of the poses, which I support. These ads are just about selling a product. This approach is something I though belonged (unfortunately) to the larger culture, but not in Yoga Journal.”

Judith Hanson Lasater is not just any ol’ disgruntled YJ reader. She is one of the magazine’s original founders. And then Roseanne Harvey, who runs It’s All Yoga, Baby wrote about The Letter, and followed it up with an interview with Judith. Even Yoga scholar Georg Feuerstein came out of his semi retirement to write several blog posts about this.

Yeah, it’s gotten pretty, uh, exciting?

Amidst the noise, if you are new, or newish, or even oldish to yoga, you might be challenged with questions such as “What is yoga”? Or, “Is nudity yoga?” Or, “Can Capitalism and Yoga co-exist peacefully?”

I’m sorry to say that I don’t have the answer to any of these questions. (And I’m not sure that anyone really does.) Besides, defining what Yoga is is like defining what Love is, or Compassion is. As Judith said recently in a workshop: “Have you noticed how we can’t really define the things that are most important in life?”

So, like I said, you’re on your own with those inquiries. What I *can* tell you, however, that if you like yoga, you might also like meditation. Yoga is about learning about your Self. Self-inquiry requires meditation. Meditation is hard, it’s frustrating, it’s juicy, every once in a while you get it right. Yes, I’m describing meditation. And hey, if people can call web sites or iPhone apps sexy, I’m gonna call meditation sexy. And you, too, can do it.

Some Meditation Trainings and Resources

Recently my student Marco (hi Marco!) asked if I teach meditation. The short answer is no. The convoluted answer is yes and no. I teach primarily hatha yoga: the techniques of asana and pranayama. I sprinkle in stories, info, lores from historical texts, the other branches of Classical Yoga. In the poses I talk about things like observing where your body is in space, listening to the body’s feedback, focusing in something, stability, ease, etc. Those are things that Patanjali described as the ingredients leading to Samadhi, let’s call it Happy Place (that doesn’t involve roller coasters) for now. In my class, I prepare people for meditation.

However, I do not currently teach meditation. In my mind, one must meditate for a very long time to teach it, like, 10 years, 20 years, 40 years.

So, here are some great trainings that I personally do:

Shinzen Young’s Basic Mindfulness Home Retreat

This is a monthly home retreat usually lead by meditation teacher Shinzen Young on the second weekend of every month. I recommend you follow the Prerequisites, or that you have listened to his lectures The Science of Enlightenment first. Shinzen’s teaching is methodical. His techniques and vocabulary are highly developed, and quite frankly not for the faint of heart. If you are determined to learn meditation, however, I can’t recommend him more. Check out his CD: The Beginner’s Guide to Meditation.

The next dates for the home retreat are:

  • August 13-15, 2010
  • September 10-12, 2010
  • October 8-10, 2010
  • November 12-14, 2010
  • December 10-12, 2010

Beyond Sequencing: The Art of Meditation with Chase Bossart

Yoga teacher Chase Bossart will be doing a workshop at Shala Yoga of Portland in 2 weeks on August 20-22, 2010. From the website:

Meditation is one of the most important and potent tools in yoga. In many ways, it is the crown jewel of all yoga practices. Yet many people experience it as one of yoga’s most difficult and confusing tools. These difficulties, however, can be greatly reduced through proper sequencing of the meditation practice.

When properly constructed, a meditation practice gradually develops the attention and mental stability required to stay with the focus. This happens naturally as the practitioner moves through the different steps of the meditation. Learn the principles of proper sequencing of meditation practices and develop these skills through numerous practical examples. This practical ‘how to’ workshop will be useful for practitioners and teachers of all levels.

There you are. Go sit down and shut up. (Though, if your mind is anything like mine, it will be anything but quiet.)

Do you know of any meditation trainings or events? Do you have any personal favorite resources? Please let me know.

David Tolmie gave me this CD as a gift. This rivals any nude + yoga photography I've ever seen.

David Tolmie gave me this CD as a gift. This rivals any nude + yoga photography I've ever seen.

Relax and Renew ™ Restorative Yoga Training with Judith Hanson Lasater Roundup

Greetings from San Francisco! This week I’m in a 5-day Restorative Yoga Teacher Training with Judith Hanson Lasater at Yoga Tree SF in the Castro. Today is the last day of the training, which has gone by too fast, which is always the case for me when I see Judith. (For those of you who’s seen me take notes on my iPhone and wonder how I do it, this is how I perfect that skill.)

There is so much good stuff from the workshop, and therefore so much for me to write, so much so that I don’t really know where to begin. In fact that’s what’s been holding me back, keeping me in my writing fear and procrastination. Whenever I’m overwhelmed with the sheer amount of things to do, and the time that I don’t think I have to accomplish it all, I sabotage my own attempt by sitting around, being worried, getting anxious, getting stressed out. Every time I think of the email I need to write and the email I need to respond to, they get more annoying, scarier, bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until they become some sort of insurmountable mountain in my mind.

As Judith would say, “Who knows what I’m talking about?”

For those of you that said, “What? Are you a moron? I never get stressed out over what I have to do,” to you I say, please write a book, I will buy it. For the rest of us who’s trying everything to live life a little more sanely, a little more joyfully, short of running off to a cave in the forest, I’m convinced that learning how to take care of ourselves is the ticket.

I first learned about Restorative Yoga in my first yoga teacher training, where I was astonished at two things: 1) how friggin’ amazing it feels, and 2) how, during the 10 years of doing yoga prior, I had never learned about it.

There’s a reason for that. I had been doing Bikram and variations of Vinyasa Flow Power yoga, where the emphasis, to me, was more about exciting the sympathetic nervous system than the parasympathetic nervous system. A practical reason is that Restorative Yoga includes the usage of props like blankets and bolsters, which would not survive in a hot yoga studio.

Naturally, as is often the case with encountering something good, I wanted more, and I had been wanting to take Judith’s training ever since.

So, I’m hooked, and I’ll be writing a lot more about this as I learn more and practice it more, and if you take classes with me, don’t be surprised if I talk about it in class :)

Here's me in a side lying savasana pose. It feels as good as it looks.

Here's me in a side lying savasana pose. It feels as good as it looks.

The Years Shall Run Like Rabbits

One of my favorite movies of all time is Before Sunrise, which I have seen so many times the disc is completely scratched up. One of the memorable scenes that seems to be permanently stuck in my mind is when Ethan Hawke’s character recites the poem As I Walked out One Evening by W.H. Auden.

‘The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.’

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
‘O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

These last days, as the calendar says it’s time for Spring, though the weather in Seattle today violent disagrees (heavy rain and 30mph wind), these lines remind me: ‘O let not Time deceive you. You cannot conquer Time.

Time goes fast, we keep hearing that. We keep hearing these clichéd phrases until they become tired like that proverbial broken record, but there are moments when they hit home so close that you finally get what they are all about, then they become true on a cellular, experiential level.

This month marks exactly one year since I finished my 200-hour training from Pacific Yoga, a 9-month program that sent me deep into the woods of yogic studies. It left me bewildered, confused, amazed, and humbled. Next month this time, I’ll be graduating from the 500-hour teacher training, a program that I started a year ago.

This morning when I was gathering my training attendance records, I went over the schedule of each session with mixed emotions. I was proud that I had been exposed to so much material, and I was a bit nervous because I don’t think I remember every single thing I’ve learned. But that anxiety did not last very long. I was immediately reminded of how I’m still going over the material that I learned in the 200-hour training, how everything I learned continues to emerge for me to grasp, understand, and learn them again.

I’m comforted by Yoga Sutra I.14, which is something of a personal mantra as of late. I learned this sutra in my 200-hour training, and it’s taken over a year for me to get it.

Satu dirgha kala nairantarya satkara asevitah dridha bhumih – YS 1.14

This sutra roughly says that there are three things that make a practice is firmly rooted and becomes stable:

  • dirgha kala: a long time
  • nairantarya: without interruption
  • satkara: devotion

I’m comforted by knowing that when May rolls around and Graduation day comes, and it will be here soon enough, I won’t really have to be “done”. I’ll still have some time to continue to do whatever work is left to do, which is endless, really. “Your certificate is a certificate to begin your studies,” Judith Hanson Lasater said once.

Having said that, I also know that I don’t really have *that* much time. Recently, a family friend passed away completely unexpectedly, and her untimely death shocked all of us to the core. My mom celebrated her 60th birthday yesterday. We were sitting at the kitchen table talking about it last week when she looked at me tenderly and said, “You’re 28, you turn around, and you’re 60. Time goes so much faster than you think.” I nodded and looked at my mom, I mean really looked at her, trying to capture what she looked like, because I’ll want to remember that exact moment when I turn 60.

In one of her talks, Pema Chodron cited Suzuki Roshi: “Knowing life is short, enjoy it day after day, moment after moment.” Sure, it’s easy for *them* to say that, but what about me? Me who’s got enough Vata to bottle energy drinks for an army? Me who’s constantly distracted and checking my iPhone and the latest tweet and blog and facebook status and what’s hot, what’s new, what’s latest, everything but what’s here and what’s now?

I’m practically a lost cause, running after anything that’s shiny, promising instant gratification and an escape from this mundane moment. My saving grace is yoga. Over these past two years of immersing myself in the teacher trainings, attending workshops, and committing to a daily meditation practice, I have occasionally caught glimpses of what it might be all about, that, “enjoy it moment after moment” thing. You cannot conquer time, but you can learn to be its companion.

To me, that’s what the practice is about, and it’ll take a long time, being consistent, and lots of dedication.  I will not let Time deceive me, and I will not deceive it. I’m humbled by Time, and I will let it run its course. In the meanwhile, all I can do is continue to practice with what I’ve got, one day at a time.

To all you guys reading this, kudos to you for committing yourself to this practice, or any practice for that matter. Kudos to you for showing up, and committing your mind, and body, and time, to whatever it is that floats your boat: climbing, painting, singing, writing, dancing, etc. All I can say is, if that’s your thing, and it’s doing you good, as long as it feeds you, it doesn’t matter where you are in the process, just keep going.

When I’m 60, or 70, or 80, if I will have learned to sit or lie down in Savasana and not think of a million and one things having nothing to do with that current moment, I will probably tell W.H. Auden, “Ha! See? I *can* conquer time.” At which point I’ll remember the movie Before Sunrise and think of all my favorite scenes, and poof, there will go my mind again.

Color-coordinated mother and daughter. With my beautiful mom on her 60th birthday.

Color-coordinated mother and daughter. With my beautiful mom on her 60th birthday.

Feel All Emotions

I have been reading A Year of Living Your Yoga: Daily Practices to Shape Your Life by Judith Lasater since December 2007 (thank you, Amazon Orders History). Every time I read the daily entry, I get a new perspective and insight.

Today, February 27, the entry reads:

If you want to embrace the light, you must also embrace the darkness.

LIVING YOUR YOGA: We all long for love, peace, and ease. But in order to fully experience them, we must also be willing to embrace our hatred, anger, and agitation. Today when you feel any strong negative emotions, really feel them. Cutting off negative feelings cuts off our ability to feel all emotions.

I especially enjoy this, because reading it feels like a long relieved exhalation. It’s given me permission to acknowledge emotions that I once thought were “off-limit”.

The Agony and the Ecstasy

One thing about the yoga and meditation world that I think “hooks” people in is the promise of bliss, and not just any kind of bliss, eternal bliss, ecstatic bliss, (uh, not to mention, yoga bliss hips). If you’re not happy, practice it. If you’re currently happy, you could be happier, all the time. My god, even the mat wash oughta be happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for happy, love, bliss, and more happy. Nope, nothing against that at all.

What I’ve learned though, that when we talk about abstract concepts like love, compassion, happy, spiritual, bliss, without setting any context, without any preconditions, we can run into all sorts of troubles when we’re not experiencing any of those emotions.

For example, let’s say something has gone very wrong, everything has hit the fan. My uncensored reaction might go something like this, “I’m so pissed! No, I’m fucking pissed! I HATE HATE HATE.” Or, perhaps something milder happened. Maybe I’m slightly offended by something. I might run off, get on my high horse and judge, roll my eyes and get all worked up. You know the drill.

Uh oh, but, I’m a yoga teacher! I’m not supposed to get upset! I’m not supposed to get livid! Quelle horreur! Seeing this, I might tell myself, “Oh, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’m supposed to be happy, and loving. Yes, I love everyone. And we’re all one. Ommm.”

If this is my approach to every crummy moment in life, I’ll end up with a lot of repression, won’t I?

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I’m learning that in the context of yoga, things like love and happiness aren’t what we think they are. They’re not the–”I’m so happy it’s sunny out”, or, “I love this present you gave me”–kind of emotions.

Once, when my boyfriend was waiting to hear back from a prospective employer and getting worried and anxious, I told him to be happy and just enjoy the moment. He looked at me like I was out of my mind. “Be happy? How could I be happy when I may not get the job?”. “Is everybody who has a job happy? And all the unemployed people are swimming in giant seas of unhappiness?” I asked him. “Well, yeah. How could you be happy if you don’t make any money?”

I knew then that we weren’t talking about the same kind of happiness. My teacher Shinzen Young often talks about a kind of happiness that’s independent of any conditions. That’s probably the happiness and bliss that yoga teachers and magazines often talk about. But I’m not convinced that it’s clearly explained enough, especially in mainstream yoga. Or, perhaps the ambiguity is intentional. After all, my guess is “Practice Feeling Completely Rotten” doesn’t sell as many magazine copies.

All Fall Down

I’m finding out that taking the role of the Witness, the Observer (or Ishvara) means that I’ve got to call an Ace an Ace. Whatever emotion that’s passing by, no matter how dark, should be recognized. Oh look, there’s anxiety. There’s jealousy. There’s selfishness. There’s self-righteousness.

And the trick is to do so with a kind of tenderness, a kind of… well, love; love for my humanness. How human of me to be scared, to be hurt, to project. Practicing this way, for me, creates a kind of happiness that’s really sweet, and so hard to describe. “I’m happy that I can see how awful this experience is.” I know, it doesn’t make any friggin’ sense, does it?

Well, I can say more, but Pema Chodron has eloquently and concisely put it in one sentence as she talked about Maitri, the practice of loving-kindness.

“Maitri is not about feeling good, it’s about feeling whatever you feel with a compassionate attitude and with extreme honesty” – Pema Chodron, Awakening Compassion Lectures.

Have you ever felt like you were “supposed” to feel anything different than what you’re currently feeling? How do you work with that?

Perhaps you need a copy of Yoga Journal, kitteh?

Perhaps you need a copy of Yoga Journal, kitteh?

Transform T – A Shirt for Haiti

Tonight I found out that YogaDork was running a t-shirt design contest to raise money for Haiti, and I immediately opened up my Photoshop program.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

Back in early November, I submitted a design to a Yoga Journal contest for a freebie to a YJ conference, and I used then a concept that rings even more true and has even more meaning now. The concept is the word transform, written alongside of the pose utthita parsvakonasana.

Let me give you the back story.

Transform – Not Just For LifeZoid Robots

When Judith Lasater came to Seattle this time last year, it was the start of what would be a long term relationship of my studies with her. At the start of the first day, she rung her tingsha bells, slowly at first, and then with increased speed and volume, fast, faster, loud, louder. When she stopped, you could still hear the echo of the sound filling the room.

Judith explained that the ringing of the bell was a call to action, and the speed signified the urgency. We need to do our practice, now more than ever, she said. Our practice is not a location, it’s the intention. It’s something you can do 24 hours a day. “We change the world by this practice,” Judith stated with such strong conviction, and I was speechless and motionless (both extremely rare occurrences for me, and if you know me personally, you’re probably nodding and smiling right now).

“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears” – Bob Hope

My understanding of Judith’s statement is that we change the world by this practice because we change ourselves by this practice. We are, as MJ said, “starting with the man in the mirror.” One way of changing something is to transform it. And so, change = transform.

The root word trans means across, denoting the idea of movement, of bringing something from one place to another place. To me, that’s what our practice is meant to do, to help us transcend conditions, to transmit what TED would call “ideas worth spreading”, and to transport whatever Good Stuff we get from the mat into the rest of our life.

Form, literally, is what we work on when we do the yoga postures, it is what we work on when we assume the meditation posture. Form is our attitude and state of being, as in bad form, good form, off form, and on form. Form is the natural world, as in landform, and ourselves, as in life form, or true to form.

So, transform, to me, is bringing that which we practice and putting it in good use.

Connecting – Not Just For Getting Online

What about parsvakonasana, what’s so interesting about that?

Utthita Parsvakonasana, or Extended Side Angle Pose, is a pose I work on pretty much all the time. This is true for a lot of other poses as well, but I have a story of how I learned to love Parsvakonasana.

For the longest time, I thought I had to bend down as low as possible and reach something across the room. Needless to say, my form was pretty god-awful. Studying with Theresa Elliott fixed a lot of it, and then the light came on when I read about the meaning behind Utthita Parsvakonasana in Judith Lasater’s book 30 Essential Yoga Poses.

“The diagonal line created by the arm, torso, and leg symbolizes our connection from Earth to heaven and heaven to Earth.” – Page 49, 30 Essential Yoga Poses, Judith Lasater.

Ohhhh!

So, it’s not about reaching for some vague thing across the room, I’m reaching for something above. Whenever I practice this pose, I think of this first eureka moment, and I check for the outer edge of my back foot reaching for the earth and my arm reaching up, which (this is for all my Iyengar peeps out there), helps me open the chest-pit and the armpit.

You see, the symbols are everywhere here: extending, connecting, etc. If we really want to beat this horse some more, I can go as far as saying that by helping the Haitian people, we are providing support. Where their Earth rumbled, by giving tangible things, like money, we give something solid for them to get back on their feet.

Finally, the trans and form lettering are in the colors of the Haitian flag. To me it’s a subtle way of supporting the cause and remembering it when you wear it without shoving it in people’s face that you’ve done something good.

Okay, do you wanna see it?

I transformed (ha) a picture my friend Ben took of me at Village Green Yoga. My form is not perfect, so all you, ahem “Nerds“, please refrain from using “tape measures, slide rules, sextants, the Global Positioning System, and possibly even a measuring device that uses the decay level of cobalt-52 to measure the positions of the subnuclear particles lurking deep within my pose.” (Thanks, YogaDawg, I never get tired of that line).

Nikki Chau in Utthita Parsvakonasa, photo by Ben Schiendelman, shot at Vilalge Green Yoga.

Nikki Chau in Utthita Parsvakonasa, photo by Ben Schiendelman, shot at Village Green Yoga.

And here’s the design:

haitiyogadorkshirtfrontback

So, that’s my story. It is way too late to consider it being “late” right now. It’s getting towards “early” territory, and I can hear the early birds outside. I’ve stayed up almost the whole night, but that’s a first-world problem. There are many people in Haiti who have probably stayed up for much longer and will stay up for a while longer still.

I have stopped reading the news, which seems to talk more about the politics of aids than anything else. And while the world bickers on how fast, how much, where, when, who, how, why, human lives continue to suffer and perish. I am discouraged by it all, and though I’m no Arjuna, at times, yes, I do feel like putting down my bows and arrows (er… you know, my iPhone and MacBook Pro) and become overwhelmed with sorrow. So, thanks YogaDork, for this contest, to give me a kick in the pants, to say, “fight, Arjuna”. Tonight I felt the urgency, and this was my call to action.

The deadline is this coming Thursday by dawn (like, this time, probably), so I have some time, and if you have any suggestions on the design, please let me know.

Thanks!

10 Things Your Yoga Instructor *Will* Tell You, Part I

I recently read an article titled 10 Things Your Yoga Instructor Won’t Tell You from Smart Money Mag, and naturally have a thing or two to say. (Let’s forget for a moment the blind cowboy “buy now” advice, and that not everyone heeds their words, but I digress big time.)

(Caution, long post ahead, brew some tea :) )

Long road ahead

Long road ahead

1. “I just started doing yoga myself!”

The problem is that there’s no real standard for how much teacher training is required of instructors, so almost anyone can lead a yoga class. Yes, there are plenty of certification programs around, but they run the gamut from thorough training—like that offered at the Advanced Studies Program at the Yoga Room in Berkeley, Calif., which requires 500 hours of classwork covering such subjects as philosophy and anatomy—to mere weekend workshops.

How, then, to avoid un- or underqualified instructors? Check with the Yoga Alliance, a national education and support organization. Although joining the group is voluntary and many perfectly good teachers haven’t signed up for its instructor registry, you can check to see if yours has at least attended a YA-approved program, which must require a minimum of 200 hours of teacher training

First off, Hallelujah! Since yoga is “so hot right now”, more and more of us are foraying into teaching. It’s right on the money (har) to call out the lack of standard in yoga teacher training, which then leads to a wide array of qualified teacher. Let me be super clear that I’m totally onboard with the Twainian philosophy of not letting schooling interfere with education. Could a teacher *with* a certificate lead someone to harm? Yup! Could a teacher *without* a certificate offer a great yoga class? Absolutely. The issue of certification and experience versus education is complex and deserves its own post, or even book, so I won’t go into it here.

I want to focus on the fact that since there are no “real” standards, and the implications for yoga teachers and students.

1) If you are contemplating becoming a yoga teacher, do a lot of research on training programs since they are not created equal. It may be more expensive, it may take more time, but because we are working with people’s emotional, mental, and physical states, in my humble opinion, it is more than worth it. In fact, if teaching yoga turns out to be your calling, I bet that you will end up doing many, many trainings for the rest of your life. (You can read up on my experience of finding a quality yoga teacher training program)

2) If you are a yoga student, just like you would check out your car mechanic, realtor, physical therapist, it follows that you’d want to check out your yoga teacher as well. As Smart Money mentioned, you can check out if your teacher received any certification by *either* checking out if they are listed in the Yoga Alliance registry *or* if the school they graduated from is registered as a certified teaching program.

The minimum is a 200-hour (pdf) level standard set by the Yoga Alliance, and subsequently a 500-hour (pdf) level. In some styles of yoga, you merely need to go to a weekend training or a boot camp. In contrast, in traditions like Iyengar or Anusara, there is a different certification process, which require the teacher many years of studying, practicing *and* teaching in the classroom. (The issue of why some teachers don’t register with the Yoga Alliance is political and financial-based, but here’s more on choosing a yoga teacher.)

As a side note, Donald Moyer, the Founding Director of the Yoga Room mentioned above will be in Seattle at Two Dog Yoga in two weeks! I’ll be there, and say hi if you see me!

2. “Sure, we have mats you can borrow—how about a case of athlete’s foot, too?”

Though some facilities do try to wash or disinfect their mats regularly, most don’t get sprayed on both sides… With 30 people sweating for 90 minutes, the room’s a petri dish. Our advice: Spend the $20 on your own mat—or go without.

If you get your own mat, and if turns out to cost more than $20, it might be worth it. “It’s just a mat, what’s the big deal?” You might say. I spend a lot of time on yoga mats, and mats to me is like Bentleys to Bikram Choudhury, so I’ve sampled quite a few of them. I will say that from a safety and injury standpoint (not brand name, status symbol, aesthetic, etc.), be sure to look for a mat that’s sticky enough, and has enough padding, especially if you just started out. Slipping and sliding on your mat distracts you from learning other things.

Okay, I don’t normally endorse anything, but I’m going to break my rule slightly here. Um… okay, maybe not publicly. Email me, and I’ll tell you the pros and cons of the mats I’ve tried, and my favorite (which may or may not be yours).

3. “You’re not ready for this class . . .”

Yoga classes tend to be rated by level of expertise—typically beginner, intermediate, and advanced. But if you say you’re ready for an advanced class, chances are no one at the sign-in desk will question you. It’s not a bad idea to call the studio ahead of time and ask them which class is most appropriate. And be honest about your abilities. After all, you won’t learn much if you’re in over your head and become too discouraged to continue.

Once during a training, Judith Lasater asked, “Do you guys want to know a secret to getting your students to try something?” Our ears perked up with anticipation, as she mischievously smiled, “Tell them this is the advanced version.” We broke out in chuckles, realizing a certain truth in her joke.

For a very long time, I had it in my head that I was much more “advanced” than I really was. I came to a level 2-3 Iyengar intensive thinking I was more 3 than 2, and after one month, realized that I was more like 0. I wasn’t necessarily overconfident or full of myself. I had made the classic mistake of equating time = experience. I had spent soo much time doing yoga, what reason was there to think that I was a beginner? The thing is, I was in classes where there was little time alloted for instruction and correction. I was mostly going from one pose to the next, without really thinking about where I was going.

I believe this stems from our desire to get a “good workout” from yoga, to burn calories and to sweat. This too, deserves its own post, so I’ll direct you to something I wrote about the Yoga Teacher Dilemma, and leave this topic at that for now.

4. “. . . and you could really hurt yourself.”

Some yoga poses are universally acknowledged to be risky—in particular, inversions such as shoulder stands and headstands. Since they cause blood to rush to the head and can raise blood pressure, these poses are potentially dangerous for anyone being treated for glaucoma or chronic headaches, or anyone who’s recently had a stroke; they’re also not recommended for anyone who’s more than 30 pounds overweight, since they compress the vertebrae in the neck. Good yoga instructors will caution a class before going into inversions and will keep a careful eye out for anyone doing the pose improperly.

Ah, yes, my favorite: pain and injuries. If your yoga teacher won’t say it, I will, loud and clear, “Yoga doesn’t have to hurt. But it can, has, does, and will.” If we can hurt ourselves getting out of bed, picking up a kitten, then we can certainly hurt ourselves in yoga. No one is immune to pain, and no activity is exempt as a source of pain.

And yet, and yet, I’ve seen teachers too zealous and hasty with putting students in poses like headstand and handstand. I remember a time when I went through rounds and rounds of chaturanga with elbows wide as Shaquille O’Neal’s coat hanger, inflaming my wrist and shoulders. I can’t recount how many times I was told to “push and push and push” in a camel pose when all I was doing was dumping in my lumbar and sacroiliac.

I’m pretty sure people have hurt themselves or gotten hurt in a yoga class for a long time, but this is becoming more and more at the forefront of our collective consciousness, notably with the most recent lawsuit against Richard Freeman’s studio in Boulder. As students, there is no surefire guarantee to safeguard ourselves against any kind of pain. The teacher may be top-notch in the field, we can take every pre-caution possible, and one day, some mysterious pain will still show up. It is part of having a human body that’s subject to breakdown and eventual disintegration.

Knowing this, the awareness of pain is perhaps our most trusted ally. Being aware of our body’s susceptibility to injuries and the inevitable pain that comes keeps us vigilant. When I climb on a rock wall, being off the ground constantly reminds me that I can fall. That acknowledgement doesn’t stop me from falling, but it reduces the chances of me seriously injuring myself.

This could hurt you more than it hurts me

This could hurt you more than it hurts me

To be continued, with other riveting things your yoga instructor will or won’t tell you :)